I tried writing, but all I could come up with was the ending, which is hardly enough to fill in the entire poem.

Quoth The Raven I Need Not

In a way I hope for her to read this, in a way I don't care. I've spent a lot of my life feeling attached to her. But so easily it's all been torn away. In this, I have realized, for whatever reason, we're not meant for each other. Perhaps we changed too much over time, perhaps it was something else.

I will always love her, til the day I die and beyond. But theres a part of me that she can't see past. And there is naught I can do about it. Perhaps I should've tried to keep it a secret from her, but what good does that do? I've always been an open book to her.

For whatever reason, it would seem I've never kept a promise in my life. I had hoped I'd be able to keep one, as I've only made two in the last 10 years. Perhaps keep both of em if I were to keep one. Perhaps that is part of what hurts. I am not only betraying her, I'm betraying myself. But it is for the better. Quoth the raven I need not... Nevermore shall I dwell upon her...

I've been having trouble sleeping, but I'm used to it by now. Aside from that, I got a job at Target working overnight stocking 10pm to 6 am. I unload the truck, push it down those slidy things where people sort the boxes for appropriate areas of the store, and then after everythings sorted, we take it out and throw it in the right aisles and then stock the shelves. Since Target closes at 10(11 for holiday season) it's pretty nice, plus I get paid nice for an overnight job.

I'm living with my sister, Amanda and her husband Tim. Kinda weird to call her my sister since shes actually my step sister, and mom is getting a divorce so soon she won't really be of any relation at all by law. But she'll always be more family to me than her father. In February or so we're going to be moving about a half hour away, into a house. Nice house though it'll be quite a bit of work, since I seem to be a hell of a lot more handy than Tim(meaning I'll be doing a lot of work with it)

Last weekend was kinda hard, Gramps and Andy came up here for the weekend. Andy came to get a motorcycle from Mom, and gramps came with just to visit. It kinda hit me, how I didn't want to be so far from him. I guess it was a touch of homesickness. A part of me is glad to be out on my own somewhat, but another part of me wants to still be with grams and gramps still.

Aside from all that, nothings really been going on too terribly much. I blew a capacitor on my video card again, only this time its only 1 and not 3. Just the same my computer runs fine other than games, and even at that Starcraft runs fine. Friend of mine from South Dakota is sending me a bunch of my books and a movie that I forgot when I moved down here, and hes throwing a new video card in the bunch that I'm going to be mailing him money for, since stores down here kinda blow for top end computer things(TigerDirect blows)

If anyone wants to talk to me, I still do check in from time to time, though I don't have much time to do updates and what not usually. As well, I always have my computer on, and always have MSN, and Yahoo Messenger, as well as Skype on. So if you want to talk to me through one of those send me a note and I can get you hooked up with me on there. I don't guarantee I will reply, but I get the message later on and then reply, so it works out eventually.

Adam out